“We felt supported at every stage”
When Christine’s husband Joe came under the care of our hospice she received practical and emotional support. In a personally written piece, Christine shares the profound difference this made.
“Like many people, I thought that a hospice was only somewhere you went when you were going to die. How wrong I was. It’s now two years since my funny, generous and loving husband, Joe, died and every day I thank my lucky stars for you all at St Catherine’s.
When Joe was diagnosed with bone cancer in January 2022, it came as a terrible shock
We had both fondly supposed that he had a touch of arthritis, would be prescribed some painkillers and that would be that. In fact, the extent of Joe’s cancer and his other health issues meant treatment was never going to be an option. All his care would be palliative.
We were immediately put in touch with your hospice and, within a very short time, we had a visit from someone
She gave Joe the opportunity to discuss his end of life wishes, not something either of us was quite ready to consider. Quickly realising his reluctance to engage, she appeared to abandon the idea, but over a cup of tea and a friendly chat, skilfully discovered everything she needed to know.
Over the next few months, we had several home visits to check on Joe’s progress. Everyone was unfailingly kind and helpful and, perhaps oddly given the circumstances, there was a lot of laughter along the way. We felt supported at every stage and it was especially reassuring to know that advice was only a phone call away.
From the outset, Joe’s wish was to die at home
Thanks to support from your hospice, he was able to fulfil that. The doctor had come earlier in the week and sensitively explained that time was nearly up. Joe asked exactly what would happen and she told him that he’d become more tired and sleep for longer, then just wouldn’t wake up. Joe replied with a smile that that didn’t sound too bad and thanked her.
The whole family was together the day before Joe died and, although rather dozy, he was still telling jokes and enjoying everyone’s laughter. The next morning he was very sleepy but he and I listened to his favourite music and I could tell from his responses that he was enjoying it. He sank deeper into sleep as the day went on and died quietly and peacefully in the early hours with me by his side.
After all St Catherine’s had done for us, that was the greatest gift we could have been given. It’s something I will never forget and for which I’ll always be grateful.
The support didn’t end there though. I was also offered bereavement counselling and practical advice. That feeling of being supported practically and emotionally is beyond price at such an awful time.
The one thing none of us is going to avoid is death. To be able to die how and where you wish is a privilege not afforded to everyone. It should be. We must value our hospices.”
